A type of psychotherapy designed to identify family patterns that contribute to a behaviour disorder or mental illness and help family members break those habits. ... In family therapy, the web of interpersonal relationships is examined and, ideally, communication is strengthened within the family.
Anger management: 10 tips to tame your temper
Keeping your temper in check can be challenging. Use simple anger management tips — from taking a timeout to using "I" statements — to stay in control.
Ready to get your anger under control? Start by considering these 10 anger management tips.Do you fume when someone cuts you off in traffic? Does your blood pressure rocket when your child refuses to cooperate? Anger is a normal and even healthy emotion — but it's important to deal with it in a positive way. Uncontrolled anger can take a toll on both your health and your relationships.
1. Think before you speak In the heat of the moment, it's easy to say something you'll later regret. Take a few moments to collect your thoughts before saying anything — and allow others involved in the situation to do the same.
2. Once you're calm, express your anger.
As soon as you're thinking clearly, express your frustration in an assertive but non-confrontational way. State your concerns and needs clearly and directly, without hurting others or trying to control them.
3. Get some exercise.
Physical activity can help reduce stress that can cause you to become angry. If you feel your anger escalating, go for a brisk walk or run, or spend some time doing other enjoyable physical activities.
4. Take a timeout.
Timeouts aren't just for kids. Give yourself short breaks during times of the day that tend to be stressful. A few moments of quiet time might help you feel better prepared to handle what's ahead without getting irritated or angry.
5. Identify possible solutions.
Instead of focusing on what made you mad, work on resolving the issue at hand. Does your child's messy room drive you crazy? Close the door. Is your partner late for dinner every night? Schedule meals later in the evening — or agree to eat on your own a few times a week. Remind yourself that anger won't fix anything and might only make it worse.
6. Stick with 'I' statements.
To avoid criticising or placing blame — which might only increase tension — use "I" statements to describe the problem. Be respectful and specific. For example, say, "I'm upset that you left the table without offering to help with the dishes" instead of "You never do any housework."
7. Don't hold a grudge.
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.
8. Use humour to release tension.
Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humour to help you face what's making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though — it can hurt feelings and make things worse.
9. Practice relaxation skills,
When your temper flares, put relaxation skills to work. Practice deep-breathing exercises, imagine a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase, such as "Take it easy." You might also listen to music, write in a journal or do a few yoga poses — whatever it takes to encourage relaxation.
10. Know when to seek help.
Learning to control anger is a challenge for everyone at times. Seek help for anger issues if your anger seems out of control, causes you to do things you regret or hurts those around you.
“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand brake on.” -- Maxwell Maltz
Nobody is born with limitless self-confidence. If someone seems to have incredible self-confidence, it’s because he or she has worked on building it for years. Self-confidence is something that you learn to build up because the challenging world of business, and life in general, can deflate it.
1. Visualize yourself as you want to be.“What the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve.” -- Napoleon Hill
Visualization is the technique of seeing an image of yourself that you are proud of, in your own mind. When we struggle with low self-confidence, we have a poor perception of ourselves that is often inaccurate. Practice visualizing a fantastic version of yourself, achieving your goals.
2. Affirm yourself."Affirmations are a powerful tool to deliberately install desired beliefs about yourself." -- Nikki Carnevale
We tend to behave in accordance with our own self-image. The trick to making lasting change is to change how you view yourself.
Affirmations are positive and uplifting statements that we say to ourselves. These are normally more effective if said out loud so that you can hear yourself say it. We tend to believe whatever we tell ourselves constantly. For example, if you hate your own physical appearance, practice saying something that you appreciate or like about yourself when you next look in the mirror.
To get your brain to accept your positive statements more quickly, phrase your affirmations as questions like, “Why am I so good in making deals?” instead of “I am so good at making deals.” Our brains are biologically wired to seek answers to questions, without analyzing whether the question is valid or not.
4. Question your inner critic.“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” -- Louise L. Hay
Some of the harshest comments that we get come from ourselves, via the "voice of the inner critic." If you struggle with low self-confidence, there is a possibility that your inner critic has become overactive and inaccurate.
Strategies like cognitive behavioral therapy help you to question your inner critic, and look for evidence to support or deny the things that your inner critic is saying to you. For example, if you think that you are a failure, ask yourself, “What evidence is there to support the thought that I am a failure?” and “What evidence is there that doesn’t support the thought that I am a failure?”
Find opportunities to congratulate, compliment and reward yourself, even for the smallest successes. As Mark Twain said, “[A] man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
EFT works by intentionally activating an energy disturbance in the body by thinking about a painful memory or situation or just focusing on a negative emotion you are currently experiencing e.g. anxiety, anger, grief. While the energy disturbance is activated, you tap with your fingertips on a set of 10 easily learned acupuncture points on the body and verbalise out loud how you are feeling and thinking about a specific issue you want to clear. By doing this, the energy disturbance is brought to the surface and cleared on a deep cellular level from all of the affected meridians.
You may need to do this tapping every day for a certain period of time or it may be cleared with just a few rounds of tapping. However long this process takes, once the energy disturbance has been completely cleared from the body, the negative emotions will have been released and you will be able to think about the memory or deal with the situation with no painful emotional reaction. In essence, you will have let go of the negative thoughts and feelings surrounding a certain issue and restored your body to a natural state of consciousness, groundedness and emotional balance.
In my practise, I have found this technique to be particularly helpful for people suffering with anxiety, panic attacks, anger issues, low self-esteem, repressed trauma, chronic illness and addictive behaviours (e.g. smoking, food). At the heart of every issue, behaviour or illness is a negative thought or emotion and if you can clear that, you can heal and resolve the issue. EFT is an empowering tool which, once taught, can be used as a self-help technique throughout your life at any time you are facing challenges or difficult situations. Tap your issues away and change your life today!
Mood disorders such as depression and bipolar disorder, Borderline personality disorder, affect a person's thinking, feeling and behaviour. Crossroads provides information on depression and bipolar disorder for many people; these include individuals who are experiencing the mood related disorder, those who are concerned for a family member or friend and people who are seeking to learn more about the conditions.
If you would like more information and support contact: 0861654867 or
The Mindfulness Hour : Small Group Guided Meditation Workshops Coming this February!
Make you a priority to be present !
Self Care Workshop - !0am -3pm
This Workshop will be held on a Saturday in March & a Sunday in April (Dates to follow soon)
Anxiety- What is Anxiety? Types of Anxiety! Useful tools to cope with Anxiety!
This will be a Two hour workshop One evening in February for Teenagers 13years - 17 years.
Another Workshop will be covered in February one evening for Adults 18years and up whom are experiencing Anxiety.
More information to follow over the next couple of days!
Contact: 0861654867 for direct information or to book.
Sticks and stones are hard on bones
aimed with angry art,
words can sting like anything
but silence breaks the heart.
Again and again major complaints we hear from couples is that their partner is not communicating well or communication has fully broken down. Communication is in every interaction we have with others daily, because of this, communication and relationships are inseparable. You cannot have a relationship with someone without communicating with them. Communication is the best asset in any relationship. Being able to speak your thoughts and being sure your partner understands what you say takes considerable practice. This is where the Five Love Languages Come in... I will explain more on these Five Love Languages in my next blog tomorrow...
It is this time of year again...
People have been hustling and bustling around Christmas and with the New Year fast approaching there is a space to look at ones life!
Am I where I want to be?
Am I happy and fulfilled?
Do I feel alone?:
Am I in pain?
Have I lost a loved one this year?
Do I need some care for myself?
Do I want change but don't know how to go about it?
Can i improve my relationships?
Do I want more from life?Relationship?
Do I have anger problems?
Do I have alcohol/drug problems?
Am I living with deep hurt and saddness?
Do I think I have Post Natal Depression?
Do I have anxiety/panic attacks?
If any of these questions strike a cord for you or spark any other emotions/ fears within you...do't be alone! Pick up the phone and make a space for you!
We live in a world where we have an abundance of choice and decisions!
This works good as it allows us to feel free, however, in my experience through my work having an abundance of choice and decisions can make it harder to make a decision for fear of 'it not being the right one'!
This leads to much confusion and at times stress. I believe there is no such thing as a wrong decision/choice, as we do what we feel at the time fits and there is learning in all our decisions, regardless if they work out as the 'right' one.
Learning to be true to oneself, authentic in ones being, allows an acceptance and kindness to being the best we can be with the best knowledge (through Decisions/choices) we have at a particular time.
Addiction can be a devastating effect on your life, whether you are battling your own addiction or trying to cope with a loved one's problem- but hope and recovery are on the horizon...
Some Questions to ask yourself!
1)Do you say your just having 'one drink' but end up drinking far more, every time?
2)Have you lost friends or had relationship problems, due to drinking - but continue drinking?
3)Do you have legal problems linked to drinking, such as drink driving arrest?
4)Do you drink until you black out deny drinking, hide alcohol, or get angry when confronted about your drinking habit?
5)Do loved ones worry about, or make excuses for, your drinking?
If you or a loved one answered YES to most of the above, it may be time to seek some help- taking the first step is the hardest!
Call us today so we can help you !
Reflexology – is a focused pressure technique, usually directed at the feet or hands. It is based on the premise that there are zones and reflexes on different parts of the body which correspond to and are relative to all parts, glands and organs. Benefits:
Holistic massage is an individual treatment that is specifically tailored to each client. A holistic practitioner treats the client as a whole, taking into account their emotional and spiritual wellbeing, as well as their physical body. A practitioner masters a wide range of massage techniques. This leads to pure relaxation.
Our Specialized Reflexologist & Holistic Therapist, Kelley Yeates will be available for booking from this week. If you wish to make an appointment contact: 0861654867 or email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Integrated Energy Therapy - Gentle, safe and powerful energy healing to release energy blockages caused by physical illness, emotional and spiritual issues. Supports self-healing and recovery from a wide variety of issues including: anxiety, stress, panic attacks, depression, trauma and chronic illness.
Bach Flower Remedies - A widely recognised range of 38 flower essences created to address everyday emotional imbalances and help maintain your emotional and physical well-being. Personal formula available, mixed and tailored exactly to the way you are feeling.
If you would like an Appointment with our Specialist: Fiona Barry Ph: 0861654867
People do not ‘get over’ grief – it has to be gone through.
It takes courage to grieve as it is often difficult and painful. You need to talk about your feelings with someone who will listen in a caring and confidential way. Try to understand that the only way to find hope for the future is to acknowledge the present pain and deal with all the conflicting emotions and feelings as they happen.
After a suicide all the normal grief feelings are heightened especially fear, guilt, rejection, worthlessness, depression and anger.
The first reactions to news of a death are usually shock, disbelief and numbness. In bereavement by suicide these feelings may last for a very long time, because on top of them you are probably feeling totally confused. It is important for you to realise that all this disturbance is not your fault.
It is a good idea to set some time aside every day – a grieving time – (when you can be alone or with your trusted friend or family member) to deal with the emotions that are troubling you. It often helps to write about these feelings.
Remind yourself that no feeling is wrong but there is a right and wrong way of dealing with it.
The question ‘why?’ is explored
You ask yourself why did he/she do it? Why did he/she do this to me? Did he/she not love me? Did he/she not feel loved? Try not to torture yourself trying to understand for the reason why they took their own lives can only be found in their thinking at the time.
Guilt can be a very destructive emotion. Ideas are given as to how you might resolve any feelings of guilt that you may have. When you have thoroughly considered them you will probably come to the conclusion that with the information you had at the time you did the best you could.
You may have strong feelings of rejection, worthlessness and shame.
You wonder why someone you loved so much did this to you. You may doubt your own values and feel that you will never trust anyone again. You feel uncomfortable in company and notice that some friends avoid you. It can be helpful to talk to someone who has been through a similar bereavement or to join a ‘bereaved by suicide’ group. As you listen to others telling of their experiences and feelings, you will probably recognise that they are not responsible for their loved one’s suicide and neither are you responsible for yours.
One of the great difficulties is how to tell others about the death.
It is better to be as honest as you can without going into details. This is especially important when telling children. Work out in your mind what you are going to say. Practice it and feel as comfortable as possible with it.
Some people try to manage their grief by blaming others.
You may find yourself lashing out in anger at those around you. Difficult though it may be, try not to blame any family member. It was the deceased’s decision to end his/her life in this way and no one else’s.
Anger is very common during grief. It is important to find constructive ways to deal with this anger so that it hurts neither you nor anyone else. Remember this will take time so be patient with yourself. Suppressed anger can destroy a person.
You may experience some of the physical symptoms associated with grief. Some of the most common are – disturbed appetite and sleep patterns, hollowness in the stomach, tightness in the chest and throat, oversensitivity to noise, breathlessness, lack of energy and pain which is often hard to describe. You may behave in an absent-minded way, have a tremendous sense of confusion and difficulty in concentrating. These are all normal and usually pass with time. Talk about them with your trusted helper and discuss ways to alleviate the discomfort they cause you. If you seek medical advice it is wise to tell of your bereavement.
Many types of death must be reported to the Coroner and suicide is one of these.
The purpose of the inquest is to ascertain the identity of the deceased, when, where and how he/she died, the medical cause and mode of death. On average it could be 2-4 months before the inquest file would be ready for hearing. Inquests are held in public and witnesses and family are notified of the inquest date and venue. If you have worries before or about the Inquest, tell the Gardai and perhaps ask to see the Coroner and go over your worries with him/her. It may be possible for you to ask that the court be cleared of all but the necessary attendance.
Is it possible to recover?
It may seem impossible to believe, but you can recover from your loss. It is important for you to realise that there is no fixed time scale for the grief journey. After a lot of hard work on your part, eventually, the deep sorrow, the pain, the hopelessness and the feeling of rejection will lessen and at last finally disappear. You will not forget your loved one, he/she will live forever in your heart. Healthy grieving allows you to remember the past, live in the present and look forward to the future
Fear invades us all........... But.........What does Fear mean to you?
Fear of ...... public speaking, asserting yourself, making decisions, intimacy, changing jobs, being alone,ageing, driving, beginning a relationship, losing a loved one, ending a relationship, having children, raising teenagers.........??
If some of the above , all of the above or if there is much more you could add to the list that come to mind then join the population of humans!
Fear seems to be an epidemic in our society. We fear beginnings; we fear endings. We fear changing; we fear 'staying stuck'. We fear success; we fear failure. We fear living; we fear dying. Whatever the fear .. Susan Jeffers covers it all in the popular short book called 'Feel The Fear & Do It Anyway' .
This book is informative, brings perspective and guides you to clearly evaluate Fear and why it holds you back.
If we can work through our Fears and understand them, we can move from a place of pain, paralysis and anxiety/depression (which sometimes accompany' s fear) to one of power, energy and excitement.
Take the step to Wave Goodbye To Fear today....
Most people bring misconceptions into their relationships at some point.
What Is Love Anyway...
Real love reminds us that nothing need fix us or complete us , precisely because it challenges the belief that we need fixing or that we are not whole!
Rather than see the positive change of love by fixating on the frenetic instability of seeking, looking, finding, clinging, we can see what’s right in front of us. The present moment- and whatever we are feeling in that moment IS complete !